Nixta Sinks

I awake with cloudy influenzed head today and stumble towards the kitchen via the TV remote to be greeted by non-stop looped-archive coverage (CNN style) on the BBC of the announcement that CPB and Jug-ears are to be wed.

While I make and consume breakfast and much camomile tea, the Beeb spends a hectic 45 minutes weaving a confused picture of titles (will she be Princess Of Wales - "of course she must, just as my wife is Mrs. XXXXX"), Kings and Queens ("oh no - she can't be Queen - that would be very unpopular"), approval and disappointment, the complexity of legal changes to avoid CPB becoming Queen (which would require ratification throughout the realm, in Australian and Canadian parliements amongst others), studiously avoiding the Camilla tapes, Dianagate and other such shit only to be stunned into wonderful silence by a very specific announcement from Clarence House: Camilla will be HRH Duchess of Cornwall, and will be Princess Consort when Charlie is King.

What a bullshit title. Princess Consort! Ha! That's nothing more than a cheap hooker. Consort, escort, hooker - it's all the same these days. If they're going to be all popular and modern-day (as they must be to get married after the divorce happened as it did - not long ago the church would never have condoned such a thing), at least come up with a better name. Partner Royale?