| Who?! | Er... What?!! | Oh God, why? |
|---|
| Rumor Has It... | Kostner fucks 3 generations of waspy tarts (including one fiancee). Fuck knows why, but everyone seems to understand and lives happily ever after in Connecticut | 5/10 for white trash crossover value |
| Open Water | Inconsequential irksome scuba-diving couple die slowly in front of cheap JVC camera from Akbar's Video Supplies on 14th | Usurping Blair Witch Project gives this 5/10 |
| Open Water 2: Adrift | Freetards meet up to go to sea and kill one-another because the sharks wouldn't sign up for this shitquel (better camera involved) | 5/10 for tearing up the Stars & Stripes |
| For Love or Money | MJ Fox plays Concierge MJ Fox in happy BS 80s boilerplate set in a hotel | Inventive technique drags this up 5/10 |
| US Marshals | Blade wears suit to drag top cast through swamps into puke-jerking ending (shots recycled from The Fugitive) | 5/10 spidey-swings that everyone's seen |
| Hoot | Luke Wilson plays Deputy Enos deposed from Hazzard to Florida while future Lohans and Kulkins wear shorts at improbable burrowing owl puppets | Clairvoyant perve factor of 5/10 |
| Night at the Museum | Zoolander and Alan Partridge have it out with Robin Williams in shambolic bollocks on Central Park West | Reminding me that it's OK to make a kid's movie: 5/10 |
| Cinderella Man | Tugger fights his way through the depression while Zelwegger struggles to open eyes | 5/10 for awesome fight scenes |
