Nixta Sinks

I love modern life. That I'm no longer torn to shreds by my tweed underpants goes a long way to making up for the impending flooding of my basement by the swoosh of a melting iceberg some 2,000 miles away.

After a number of years of frenzied liberal-bashing, people are coming round to the outrageously crazy-assed ideas of one enormous should-be president and his bandwagon-sucking whores in Hollywood. You should have seen his smile on The Daily Show the other day - I thought Nicholson himself was about to leap out and consume the audience.

But Old Bug-Eyes mentioned on Friday something that only made it into the New York Times on Sunday: The next step is to beat the news stations to a pulp because they have, as has long been known, not been about news, but about ratings. I've said it before and I'll say it again (and it's good to see Ali Gore Gore agreeing at last) that the Daily Show is one of the few places to get real news in America.

And so we have this gem of a statement from BS herself, on the day the LL checks herself into rehab (I'm getting into the coke and rehab industry asap).

Defending her behaviour, she said: "I think it is actually normal for a young girl to go out after a huge divorce".

Get back in there with LL, you whore! Don't come out until all YOUNG GIRLS can afford HUGE DIVORCES. More tits on TV.

It's a miracle more people don't hate us.