Nixta Sinks

Plagiarist Fat Bastard? (via)

Questions for the day, all strangely related:

• Why is Mind Of Mencia on the air? Perhaps because those petitioning against it can't spell...
• Why does the Google Video Search for "Mencia Movie Talk" return me porn?
• Is it really OK to do a sketch about fat black women in cinemas talking over a movie?

I have a thing about Mind Of Mencia. I should disclose first that I don't know what I'm talking about - I mean even more than usual - in this case I've never ever watched an episode of Mind Of Mencia (though I have sat through a painful 5 minutes of standup). He keeps popping up at the end of my DVR'd Southpark episodes. Nothing about him seems even remotely appealing. That probably means that he's tremendously deep and hilarious and one day I'll rue all the years I've been avoiding him. I wonder if someone who justifies making money from cheap supposedly outrageous (read dated and recycled) college-humour with "Somewhere right now, there is a soldier dying to protect our rights. One of these rights is free speech. And I will never let a soldier die in vain." shouldn't be shot on sight though.

Seems interesting though. People want to hate him, including me, yet it's magazines like Maxim that rate him appallingly, and viewer polls that rate him highly. This must mean one thing: I'm getting old and the idiots are winning (yes, I did plagiarise that straight from Nathan Barley).

Labels: Carlos Mencia, Comedy, Plagiarism

O.    M.    G.

Do not allow anything or anyone to interrupt this video. I don't care if the whole world has seen this a million times (which I don't think they have) and it's been on every webpage in history, but this video (via Gizmodo) must be seen to be believed.

This Helicopter gets thrown around like a rag-doll. A computer game like this would be labelled unrealistic. At times it seems like special effects. But more than anything else is the incredible skill and concentration of the pilot. Amazing.

[ Update ] His name is Alan Szabo Jr, and there are a great number of videos of him flying these things like a lunatic genius. He's been doing it for ages (as if you couldn't tell).

What I didn't appreciate until I'd seen some of his other videos is what a difference an electric helicopter makes - you can hear the blades ripping the air a new one, and it's most satisfying.

Charles, is this what inspired you to get an RC heli?

Labels: helicopter, model

Bye bye, Tasty Tiger

A mere month after I had written about how delicious the food at Tigerland is, I got an e-mail from Miranda, the Cupcake Mistress, that the place was closing down and that this Sunday (well, today, in other words) is the last day.

Dani and I decided immediately to eat there every evening until the place closed down.

Alice, who introduced us to Tigerland a while back, and who must be credited with discovering the place for this circle of jerks (not least because she actually did discover it for us, but also because she gets really REALLY upset if you even accidentally insinuate an affinity with the place independently of her - then again she gets really REALLY upset at the prospect of Dani and me not having kids - a clear sign she's straight from Bizzaro World), has been in tears since.

I was going to list all the things Dani and I have eaten at Tigerland since Thursday, but it's too long. Suffice it to say we were still stuffed on Friday when we went in and had to limit ourselves to starters, then Saturday we skipped starters and had just two mains (one each - a restrained effort for us).

I'm starving myself today. Tonight will be a massive blow-out.

A sad day.

Here are the things I will miss:

• Miranda's Cupcakes
• June's Sangria
• Shaking Beef
• Caramelised Shrimp
• Heritage Pork
• Shiitake Fried Rice
• Ginger Soda

I hold the incessant gentrification of the East Village to blame. I've been part of that and it's going to bite me on the ass soon because my rent's about to go up to a level I can't justify, but it's always been important to me to support local businesses, particularly good ones. But if a Landlord decides to fuck everyone over by shooting the rent through the roof, what can you do? It's time to despair that everything is normal again.

Labels: cupcakes, despair, hunger, tigerland

HST, Conan, Guns and (of course) whiskey.

Just in case you manage to read all of HST's phenomenal books, get a small idea of what he was about with some video.

In this case, Conan O'Brien (no relation, afaik, to KTO'Brien) settles himself carefully between a drunken comedic addled genius, and a powerful destructive weapon (both of which are perfectly comfortable with one-another, but neither of which are particularly comforting to Conan).

Fuck you bear!

Full video below. Check out some more YouTube Thompsons.

Take that, you fuckingn animal!

Labels: bears, conan, guns, hst

Tardis Door

This car door (for sale, via).

Clearly all car doors ought to be like this. It's got greater visibility, can be parked in a smaller space, may well provide better safety, and is at least as cool as pinch-zooming, and just as shiny.

Why would Lincoln try to bury this? What earthly pinko-bashing good could it do anyone? Let's all demand these doors for our next cars!

Poop poop!

Labels: car, innovation, technology

I can't mention their name, but urban clothing supremos Company X, Inc. has sworn to smack (or at least spray paint) the living crap out of South Pole at tonights' Mets game vs Cincinnati.

Watch out, people:

Please pick up your south pole t-shirts at gate e......
If anyone wants to get 10 k for running across the field in a honeybadger costume the opty is still available....
If you see the people from southpole that have been to our offices over the last 2 weeks for interview- do not give them up. Pretend like you don't recognize them.
Also if we come to blows and they (the people comming here to worl in next few weeks) want to fight for our side we will be giving them white headbands.
Do not hit anyone from southpole with a white head band.
Remember only conceeled weapons.
Good luck.....

Labels: bitchfight, fashion, south pole

Bastards

I've written about them before, and no doubt the rising master-race of intelligent beings will hit the Nixta headlines again before my demise (yes, you poor poor people, I intend to continue tormenting you all and clogging up the internet with my feeble rantings and ramblings even from beyond the grave if I can, though that's not an invitation to bury me alive). Honeybadgers. As discovered by Ms. Jane "WhoWhat?" Ballantine and myself during one particularly eye-opening evening of television. They're now supposedly a military weapon. Or recruit.

The thieving scouse gits of the animal kingdom. Knowing them, they're nothing but mercenaries. I don't know if the British Army hires mercenaries, but the US Military certainly does, so they're probably US payrolled. Deathly indiscriminate killers with an appetite for blood, honey, plastic, metal, wood, lions and now apparently cows and Iraqis.

I adore these creatures. They bring excitement into my otherwise humdrum days of sitting on the couch waiting for my wife to come home and tell me it'll all be OK. I feel like a vicarious part of some undiscovered criminal underworld. Master-bastards running around tearing the world to shreds and turning it on its head, dressed in small animal outfits with armour-piercing claws.

Labels: honey badger

Blogger breaks.

Corruption ensues.

And to top it all, I've been named the Joey Chestnut of Cupcakes. I nearly died in the process, but it was well worth it.